What is ”The Strange Him!!”? The Strange Him!! is a MAN who has conviction, courage, and strength. A “MAN” in today’s society is totally different than a “man”. A MAN is one who protects, provides, and leads. These MEN are truly strange to most people, and this newsletter is an observance and celebration of that MAN. Thank you for your support, and hopefully, you will like what you read and share this newsletter with another “strange” MAN. Stay strange, my friend!!

The Forge - A forge is where steel is subjected to high temperatures to make it malleable so that it can be transformed by the maker. The following words are meant to provide you with information that may impact your life and potentially bring about a change in it.

When we think of a gentleman, most imagine a well-dressed man, perhaps in a tuxedo or a fine suit. However, the historical concept of a gentleman was quite different. In the past, a "gentleman" was the lowest specific social rank within the British gentry. Gentry is a term for the European social class of people who were "well-born, genteel, and well-bred." A gentleman of the historical class of the gentries of the United Kingdom implied a man who owned land and did not necessarily have to work other than to carry out administrative duties for his land.

Over time, a "gentleman" has evolved from the strict social hierarchies of well-to-do landowners to refer to a man who was regarded with high standards of decorum, manners, and character. A social change in the 19th century broadened the term to include qualities like social standing, education, and manners rather than just lineage and social class.

The following are Characteristics most consider to define a Modern Gentleman:

1. Politeness and Respect: A gentleman shows courtesy and respect, especially towards women, by standing up when someone enters the room and conversing politely with everyone he encounters.

2. Chivalry and Care: He displays chivalry by consistently demonstrating care for the welfare of others and consistently treating others with admiration and respect.

3. Humility: A gentleman is never prideful but always humble. When one humbles himself, he places the importance of others over himself.

4. Integrity and Honesty: "A gentleman upholds high moral principles and honesty, regardless of changing societal norms."

5. Courage and Confidence: He displays quiet confidence, consistently standing up for his beliefs in public and private.

6. Empathy and Civility: A gentleman is empathetic, open-minded, civil, and poised under pressure.

7. Refinement and Discretion: He values sentimentality, avoids showiness, and aims to bring pleasure to others.

8. Generosity and Self-Improvement: A gentleman is generous, especially towards those who cannot offer anything in return. He continually seeks to expand his knowledge and understanding, challenging his beliefs to grow intellectually.

9. Well-groomed: A gentleman is always dressed appropriately and keeps himself well-kept and neatly dressed.

To put it simply, a true gentleman embodies all the qualities mentioned above and more. He constantly strives to be the best version of himself, day in and day out. Just because a man is dressed in a tuxedo, looking well-groomed and appealing to the eye, it doesn't necessarily mean he is a true gentleman. 

The Maxim - general truth, fundamental principle, or rule of conduct

The truth is a gentleman in today’s world is uncommon. Why is that? Of the things listed above that commonly define a modern gentleman, what of those things are so hard to do?  Certainly, all of us can dress well and keep ourselves groomed.  Is there something wrong with being polite and respectful?  Can anyone even tell us what chivalry is?  Do we strive to be men of integrity and honesty?  As men, we frequently demonstrate different qualities of a true gentleman. However, it is evident by our actions that many of us utilize these traits primarily when they serve our personal advantage and not because they are an embodiment of us as a person. A true gentleman actualizes these qualities effortlessly, without question, thought, or hesitation. For a gentleman, there is no other way to live than to embrace each day as the best representation of himself.

The Breach- the verb breach means to make a gap in and breakthrough

Using the article "How to become the perfect gentleman in ten steps" as featured on The Stag Company website, we will use their bullet points as a starting point for our discussion. Some of these points were previously covered as characteristics of a gentleman, but our goal is to create actionable steps related to those characteristics. We've discussed what defines a gentleman, but now let's focus on how to become one. This is not an exhaustive list, but other behaviors will naturally follow by implementing some of these actions. After researching for this newsletter, it seems the most common trait associated with being a gentleman is caring. All you have to do is care!

1. Be respectful 

2. Be honest

3. Don't abandon ship in a relationship 

4. Good hygiene is a must

5. Hold doors open for people

6. Keep the language clean

7. Family comes first

8. Always Be On Time

9. Dress Impeccably

10. Never Show Off Your Wealth

We will break this list down to a little more granular level and maybe it is not just about “things” we do.  Let's jump into it.

1. Be Respectful – Being respectful is not only reserved for special occasions. A true gentleman shows respect to everyone around them. When you interact with a gentleman, you will feel valued and appreciated. Respect is a reflection of one's inner goodness. If a person is respectful, it speaks volumes about their character.

2. Be Honest – Being honest is a sign of character.  If a man is sincere, you know he is a man of character.  Take the men in your life that you know are honest. They are the men that you would have no problem leaving your child with or entrusting them with something of great value.

3. Don’t abandon ship in a relationship – This is more than just a date night tip. Men who are willing to put their all into a relationship are likely to make amazing husbands, great friends, fantastic employers/employees, and awesome dads. Their willingness to be fully committed to a relationship often means that the man will go the extra mile in all areas of his life and be someone you can always rely on.

4. Good hygiene is a must— When a person maintains good hygiene, they are also taking care of themselves not just physically, but they are equally likely to take care of themselves regarding the different aspects of wellness we discussed in a previous letter. Showing respect for oneself through good hygiene is a strong expression of self-respect that also reflects how one respects others.

5. Hold the door open for people – In the past, gentlemen always held doors for women, but this practice seems to have waned in recent years. Holding a door simply demonstrates the ingrained manners of a gentleman and, as Southerners say, shows that "he was raised right." A gentleman will always say "please," "thank you," "sorry," "yes, ma'am," "no, ma'am," "yes, sir," and "no, sir." He doesn't do this to appear patronizing or showy; these are the manners that were instilled in him at a young age and are a reflection of his family and upbringing.

6. Keep language clean – A gentleman uses clean language to ensure that those around him feel comfortable. You can rely on the fact that children will not be exposed to vulgar language from a gentleman, thus avoiding any awkward explanations. Additionally, using clean language reflects well on the gentleman as a sign of education and refinement.

7. Family comes first—This is a no-brainerr. A man should always prioritize his family, placing them above himself. A man who prioritizes his family is usually not only a dedicated family man but also an exceptional father, a loving husband, and an all-around good person.

8. Always be on time – Show me a man who is on time, and I will show you a man who cares for people. The gentleman understands the importance of the person's time he is meeting and is also expressing the value he has for their relationship.

9. Dress impeccably – The way you dress is the first thing people notice about you. Putting effort into dressing nicely not only shows good taste but also demonstrates the ability to present yourself well. If you look untidy, others may think you are lazy and disorganized. Additionally, dressing well can help boost your confidence.

10. Never show off your wealth – The mark of a true gentleman is his modesty in every aspect. He never feels the need to flaunt his wealth or achievements and instead embodies humility. A genuine gentleman never uses his financial status to demean others, and he doesn't allow his own lack of wealth to affect his self-worth. He firmly believes that one's economic standing should remain a personal and private matter.

You can think of men you know in your life who exemplify being a gentleman. That would be a true honor when we are spoken of during this life as being a true gentleman. We at The Strange Him!! urge all of you to strive to become the best version of yourself that you can possibly be.

Odyssey - a long series of wanderings or adventures, especially when filled with notable experiences, hardships, etc. 

This week’s challenge may be a little uncomfortable if you have never been one to do it regularly…tend to doors for people. If you are married or in a relationship, hold the door for your significant other. Open and hold the car door open for your partner and close it once they are seated. When you enter a restaurant, hold the door for the crowd that is following you, and humble yourself to be the last one in, it's not belittling of you; it is telling. Even if no one notices, you will know that you were polite and kind. Use holding doors as a start to your personal journey to become a gentleman. Some of us may be farther along than others, but each of us can use some refinement and, with that refinement, possibly start to change the environment that we directly affect.

The Quench - a process of rapidly cooling a piece of metal in order to achieve or modify specific properties like hardness, strength, or toughness.

Until polls are available, we will continue to have to be accountable to ourselves for the previous week’s Odyssey. Be true to yourself.

This was week number two in reaching out to find a group. How did finding a group this week go for you? Was it still a challenge, or did you even try? Men need each other. Again, go through your contact list on your phone; there will be at least one man’s name that jumps out that you know is part of a group. Reach out to him and let him bring you in. Men's groups are everywhere; you only need to look and step to it. Do it for you; having strong and supportive MEN in your life is essential."

As always I am going to plug my cult. F3 groups are popping up nationwide. This is a great way to find a great group of MEN.

I am also going to continue plugging GORUCK. This is an activity you can do with a group or by yourself….anywhere you go.

The Art of Manliness is a men's interest and lifestyle website with content geared to helping men become better men.

Want some help in dressing like a gentleman? Check out the Gentleman’s Gazette. It is jam-packed full of ideas to fill your closet.

We will end with this. After scouring the internet a little bit and coming to notice that most websites directed at “gentleman” are clothing sites. It is apparent that most think of the modern gentleman as merely a well dressed man. With your help, The Strange HIM!! is going to try and change that connotation one man at a time. Thanks again for subscribing and Stay Strange My Friend!